“I was born and raised in Auckland and the youngest of five siblings, and went to school there, primary school, high school and worked down there till I was about 30. I had fantastic parents, I never ever saw my parents argue, and they really instilled great values in us; commitment, integrity, strong morals and looking out for each other. They always approached us kids as a united front. One thing that always stuck with me was how they showed us to be kind and caring. They were very proactive in each community organisation they were connected to. I’ve tried to instill the same values in my kids. I think I’ve mostly succeeded.
My two sisters and I are three peas in a pod really, and we’ve always stayed close. In my 20s, within six weeks we had four people in my family die, and then 15 months later my dad died as well. Pretty much from a broken heart after we lost our Mum. It was pretty scary in my 20s, but fortunately for us our family didn’t fall apart, we all just stayed close. The biggest lesson from that time was to hang on to each other, look after each other. You see families fighting and you just think tomorrow they could be dead. We had no warning. Family is more important than anything. You can get through things, just make sure you’ve got the support people around you. In my case it was my sisters, and it probably helped that we all have the same weird sense of humour.
Later on, life took me travelling. My sister had seen an ad in the newspaper for a travel companion and said she’d put it somewhere safe and couldn’t find it. Three weeks later she found it. In the meantime, a guy from Okaihau had answered the ad. Marya, the ad lady, contacted me and said she’d said yes to this guy but asked if I was interested in all three of us travelling together. So the three of us travelled together for six months and had an absolutely fantastic time, stories that we could tell for days. When we came back, I moved to Okaihau and a few years later I met my husband. We lived in Kerikeri for about 18 months, and then got to the point where we realised we were going to have no money to pay rent, so we went to the landlords and said we had to move out. My husband owned a property in Okaihau that had a shack on it, so we moved in there. This shack, seriously, it had a kitchen and a hideous blue bath in the kitchen. I said I can cope with pretty much anything, but I can’t cope with a blue bath in the kitchen. So the bath went outside, and every time we wanted a bath we’d light the fire. We had to notify our neighbor, if you see smoke coming out, don’t come down the driveway because people are in the bath.
I married at 35, and then within five years we had four kids. From living in the shack, we then went to a five bedroom mansion, we literally walked around it, looked at each other and said we’ll buy it. So we went from one extreme to the other. Later on, during the recession, we bought 100 acres of bush in Kaitaia that was completely overrun with weeds. We had it for about a year before we moved up, and when we did, we moved into a shed. We told the kids you just have to see this as an adventure. It was literally a farm shed, the kids had to climb a ladder to go to bed at night, then later they had tiny rooms each, just enough space for a bed and shelves. But it’s such a beautiful piece of land, you sit there and listen to the tūī and the kiwi, you don’t get that everywhere. There’s waterfalls on the property, and when it rains, they sound is amazing.
Over time, I got involved with cadets through my kids. I couldn’t afford to drive home and come back, so I just stuck around – that was 2013 and I’ve been volunteering there ever since. 14 years. I’ve done all the courses; shooting courses, bushcraft courses, command courses, and I love working with teenagers.
The biggest kick I get is when you get kids that are really quiet and shy, and over time they come out of their shell and end up absolutely phenomenal leaders. Some kids are natural leaders, others you have to train, but it’s amazing seeing them advance. Believing in yourself is the key, even if you’re not confident, fake it till you make it.
I see volunteering as really important. We’re a community, and if people don’t rise up and do voluntary work, the community is going to fall over. We’re just going to be individuals and there’s not going to be anyone to lead things for the kids. I couldn’t do any volunteer work without the support of my husband Bob and my four kids; Jesse, Sharon, Eddie and Alice.
I’ve also done a lot of bus driving over the years. I started driving small trucks when I was 17, and later got into school buses. I’ve always worked on the theory that if you treat kids with respect, they’ll treat you with respect. Learn their names, talk to them, & listen to what they have to say.
When I look back on everything, what I’m most proud of is my husband of 28 years and my kids. My husband has an amazing ability to turn what looks like junk into amazing stuff. We have a hangi cooker that cooks 350 hangis made from a milk vat and a shower tray. And our shed is the warmest home I have ever lived in. I’m also absolutely stoked with my kids that they get out there and have a life – they work hard with great work ethics, but they play really hard too. And that’s what it’s always been about. Through everything, the hard times, the adventures, the ups and downs, it always comes back to the same thing:
Look after each other, hang on to each other, and you’ll get through.”