“I grew up in a farming community, back when neighbourhoods had neighbours who cared and children could run freely, it was overall a very happy time. All the neighbours would look out for one another’s children in their own way. I didn’t grow up with the word ‘safe’, it wasn’t even a question that you were safe – that was already implied in the community I was raised in, I was really lucky. My mum was always heavily involved in community things, she had a servitude nature, and I got to experience our Marae at a really young age. The lifestyle, and the kinship and the connectedness of all of that, with many aunties and uncles.
My grandmother was the most influential person in my childhood, as well as my mother. My grandmother had a big part in my upbringing, her house was only 100 metres across the paddock, and it was always my job to make sure she had milk in the morning. As I grew older, I would hang out there more and more, and then I got to the age when my parents said it was okay for me to live with her, so I did. We had a special bond her and I.
My mum was a marvel to be reckoned with in our lives, and looking back, my dad was a really cool character, very hard worker. My mum would always be doing things in the community. If there was a fundraiser, if the school needed something, or if her kids needed something, she was there. My dad was very outdoorsy, he was the kai moana gatherer and would always have my brother and I outdoors doing crazy things, like my brother driving a bulldozer up a steep hill at intermediate age, while I’d be following behind with a flame thrower strapped to my back burning off parts of the ngahere [forest]. We were having the time of our life while our poor mum was probably ageing terribly cause her face had “worry” written all over her face whereas I was “woohoo”!
I did my overseas trips – worked overseas for a few years, got to spend time in Turkey on a Rotary International scheme but Te Hiku is always home. I have so much pride and joy for this area. I was the best bar maid in Australia for a while, and I came back to Te Hiku when my dad passed away. A lot of things in my life would not have happened the way they did if my dad had not passed away when he did, I probably would still be living overseas today. When I was home, I needed coin in my pocket, so a friend said to me, ‘why don’t you apply for a job at Aupouri Ngati Kahu Te Rarawa Trust?’. Honestly, back then, I couldn’t get the first word out of my mouth let alone the rest, at the time it was probably the longest Māori word I’d ever heard in my life. So I was super nervous to get an interview with an organisation where I couldn’t say their organisation’s name.
I went for the interview and was asked if I knew how to turn a computer on, and off again. Laughing to myself and a bit cocky I said yes, yes I do. So I got the job, but fell off my chair when I was told I was a computer tutor teaching women office things. I knew nothing about computers or running an office! Like nothing. Geez, I was reading heaps and prepping tutorials the night before, for months until I finally fessed up. The women I was teaching all had black sunglasses on, black leathers, black jeans – they were pretty staunch women, and I later figured out that many had partners in the Black Power. They absolutely blew me away and I learnt so much from them. Together we set the bar for success and we just kept going. Every day, they showed up, dressed to succeed, ready to empower themselves. They all went through the New Zealand Institute of Management Supervisory Certificate and succeeded. That was a really incredible thing to be a part of. I was proud then and I am proud now to have shared that journey with them.
They were on the court and playing the game of life, marvellous role models to their kids – they weren’t in the grandstand watching life go past them. That period and their success made me realise that everything in life is possible.
These last few years I’ve been thinking about how history will record me – am I sitting in the grandstand or am I on the court and playing the game? I want history to record me as playing the game. If you sit in the grandstand, there’s no effort, no trial, no commitment, no nothing – you’re just an observer. To get on the court and play the game is hard work. You’re going to be unpopular at times and fall over, question yourself, and do dumb things but ya get up again when you are on the court – cos change doesn’t happen from the grandstand, it happens on the court. I’m a glass half full person and Te Hiku is home and we deserve the best. Everything is possible! End of story.
If I could go back and talk to myself 30 years ago, I would tell myself to stay on course to learn my Reo. I did Te Reo in school right until fifth form, when the school just pulled the class and closed it down. My teacher said to us, ‘it’s not going to help you in life, so put it as far from your thoughts as you can and go choose another subject’. So, I did just that, I switched that part of my life off for a very, very long time, and I wish I hadn’t. I wish I had carried on for myself, it is my culture. I didn’t reconnect until I returned home to New Zealand and saw myself staring at the longest Māori words I’d ever seen (Aupouri Ngatikahu Te Rarawa Trust). Funny thinking about that now – ain’t life full of surprises, it rolls off my tongue these days.
It is not our past that creates our future, it is your words, in the here and the now.”